Breed Registry

By Alexander Massoud

Come and buy our little white dogs!
Prepackaged puppers, potty trained from birth
To only go in plastic bowls upon command,
Programmed to sit, to heel, to stare with
Proptosic eyes (Exotic!) at any smartphone lens,
Unblinking, while festooned in PetSmart filigree
Fitting any posting season: Cupid’s wings to Rudolph’s nose.

Our little white dogs have a need to please
That runs on all fours through their veins.
They’ll relocate at your call, motor
Over hardwood without leaving a scratch,
Paws like soft treads that don’t leave tracks.

These little white dogs, well, they’ve been
Produced in this country so long that their
Temperament, their status, their brand is unquestionable.

Please ignore rumors about mutts that bark,
Surging to stand above the hip, eyes proud, their fur unclean,
Mixed colors spilling a beggar’s cloak over their necks
Which flows in savage clumps as they make chase in tight packs.
Little white dogs from these actions abstain,
With their little red bows and Instagram fame.